I tried selling hotcakes once. They sold poorly.
Hey girl, tell me, did it hurt…? When you fell off that bar stool? You must be embarrassed, too.
…says the person who took the time to read and respond while also shopping at Whole Foods.

…says the person who took the time to read and respond while also shopping at Whole Foods.

Hasbro seems to have an exclusive stranglehold on finance-based board games.
I was going to write one of those articles concerning “10 Things Women/Men Want in a Relationship.” but I couldn’t think of 10 ways to say “Everything.”

Yes, this is still a thing…15,000 copies in print so far. Sloooow burn.

And now…my A Cynic’s Guide to a Rich and Full Life is now available in e-book format via Gumroad! 

Here’s a little, 3-minute, tongue-in-cheek interview/recitation courtesy of Travis Nichols.

If you dig it, go on and share this for your ol’ pal, Mario…

Indulgent pic with Jim Bruer at The Velveeta Room in Austin, TX. Helluva nice guy and amazing on stage. Seriously. Funny. Shit.

Indulgent pic with Jim Bruer at The Velveeta Room in Austin, TX. Helluva nice guy and amazing on stage. Seriously. Funny. Shit.

This fall on NBC, catch Wop & Braunger…buddy cops.

This fall on NBC, catch Wop & Braunger…buddy cops.

Shootin’ shit and passin’ apples with Paul Provenza at The Velv last night. Life is good.

Shootin’ shit and passin’ apples with Paul Provenza at The Velv last night. Life is good.

Since I can’t enjoy True Detective like all y’all, I just watched “Ed TV” on a black & white television. Blew. Me. Away.

Since I can’t enjoy True Detective like all y’all, I just watched “Ed TV” on a black & white television. Blew. Me. Away.

Steeekers! Por todo mis amigos!

Steeekers! Por todo mis amigos!

I hate when sci-fi shows make up their own curse words. Takes me right out of the frakking moment.
I wish these existed when I was dating my ex…I could’ve thrown ‘em down like penalty cards.

I wish these existed when I was dating my ex…I could’ve thrown ‘em down like penalty cards.

I like my women like my tall kitchen bags…contradictory.

I like my women like my tall kitchen bags…contradictory.

Facebook Movie: “Hey, Mario, remember when your dog died? Remember that?? Roll clip.”